Coaching
"Imagine
a relationship where the total focus is on you,
on what you want
in your life, and on what will help you achieve it"
- The Coaches
Training Institute
What
is Coaching?
Imagine a relationship where you are
held to be Creative, Resourceful and Whole at all times, where you
are never wrong, and there is always someone on your side.
Imagine a relationship that focuses on solutions rather than problems,
that focuses on your possibilities, not your limitations.
Coaching is a co-active process in which you and your coach collaborate
to achieve more of what you want from your life and less of what
you don't. It's a process in which you get to define what's
important and your coach is 100% committed to seeing you get it.
It's a process which may start out aiming for specific goals
in specific areas (e.g. "I want to start my own business"
or "I want to improve my relationships"), but which never
forgets that the client is a whole person - and that any aspect
of that person may need to be considered in order to achieve a specific
goal.
Frequency and Duration of Coaching
Usually there are 3 or 4 sessions per month, of 1 hour each. However, session frequency can be by arrangement depending on your other commitments.
Coaching
has its most impact when it is ongoing over several months. According to the International
Coach Federation survey, the duration of a coaching relationship
is on average 8.8 months. Some relationships can last for years.
A suggested
minimum period is 3 months - this duration allows the relationship
to work through any peaks and troughs of the client's life and get
to the "real stuff". However I do not insist on any minimum
period of coaching as I find this isn't always what clients want.
I certainly welcome clients who want "laser coaching"
on very specific issues.
You are NEVER obliged to have more sessions than you want. That's
why my charges and payment methods are per session, but longer
term clients discounts can accrue discounts.
In addition to that, one of my personal values is Flexibility. I am happy to arrange coaching to take account of holiday seasons, personal commitments and other life circumstances. Sometimes clients (including myself) want periods of consolidation and then resume coaching after a break. Sometimes clients need to simply reduce the number of sessions for a while. My aim is to arrange a frequency of coaching which serves you rather than being yet another burden, but without throwing away the continuity which is so valuable for long-term success.
In the first coaching session we will discuss what you want to get from the coaching. Every coaching relationship is unique and tailored to your specific needs and preferences. This involves discussing and agreeing issues such as your criteria for success, desired outcomes, preferred styles of interaction, or any other circumstances that need to be taken into account to make the coaching work for you.
However, although the focus is on defining what you want and getting to know you, I always aim to start making tangible progress right from the very first session.
If you have elected to receive EFT Coaching (the vast majority of my clients nowadays) the first session will also include basic tuition in EFT, if you don't already know it.
Homework
is about putting into action what was talked about during the session.
It is
often said that most of the coaching occurs in between the sessions,
when the client takes what happened in the coaching sessions back
into their real life. Homework is the key to keeping you
moving towards your goals.
Homework can take many forms -
from tangible action towards goals, exercises to expand awareness
or taking away an "Inquiry" (a question to be mulled over).
For EFT Coaching it can often include continuing to apply EFT to
issues uncovered in the session, or as support for homework actions
- e.g. just before you sit that exam, speak to the boss or make that
phone call!
Homework is set by discussion and agreement with you based on what you've said you want to achieve. Although I will frequently suggest homework you are free to accept, decline or make an alternative suggestion.
Session content
What you talk about in sessions is guided completely by you, although my job is to "hold your agenda" and ensure that you move towards the goals you specified at the start.
Initially, we may do a series of exercises aimed at, for example, exploring your personal Values or getting in touch with your Future Self. These then become reference points for future coaching and future choices for action.
These exercises are what makes the difference between Coaching and simply adding to your To Do List. Coaching is not just about making progress towards goals (Doing) - it is also about growing your insight and awareness about yourself (Being). The person who more deeply understands and owns their values and their Future Self (the person they wish to become) is more fully equipped to move their life in a purposeful direction, rather than simply be moved along by external circumstances. It is this growth of the self which is the basis of the lasting impact which good coaching should have, long after the coaching stops.
Coaching with EFT and/or AFT
EFT and AFT transform something already powerful (Co-active Coaching) into something truly exceptional.
EFT and AFT are methods for removing negative emotions and limiting beliefs. (For more detail about EFT and AFT visit the EFT and AFT sections).
So how do EFT/AFT complement Coaching?
Coaching is about moving a client closer to identifying and achieving their goals and, in the process overcoming blocks and resistances within the client which are getting in the way. Coaching includes many tools to "get past" these fears and beliefs (e.g. finding the "compelling way", gradual action, acting from the Future Self, or simply having a coach support you and believe in you). But sometimes, no amount of "talking about it" or "thinking about it" can get us past our fears and our blocks. In these cases, EFT or AFT provide the magical missing ingredient - a tool which can often dispel long-standing fears, anxieties and negative belief systems in just a few minutes.
And using EFT/AFT within a coaching context provides an opportunity for dealing with those seemingly "trivial" fears and negative feelings at exactly the point they arise as a problem. Although someone might consider getting professional help with a "big" emotional problem (such as fear of flying, getting over a traumatic incident or panic attacks), who is likely to consider the need to get help for things like a fear of filling in forms, nervousness before making a phone call or feeling irritated in the presence of family members or work colleagues?
And yet it is often "trivial" feelings such as these which can have the most power to prevent us from doing the things we really want to do, achieving the things we really want to achieve and having the kind of relationships we really want to have.
As well as dealing with fears and blocks, EFT and AFT are also good for increasing physical and emotional energy generally - which can be enormously helpful if you have challenging personal goals you'd like to achieve.
When
you want to use EFT as an additional tool within the coaching
is up to you. All new clients will receive tuition in the
basic EFT procedure at the first session so that it is available
to be used whenever appropriate within future sessions.
Find out about session times and charges >>
