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The Future Starts Now.
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How Heavy is Your Heart?
An Ancient Egyptian model
of the fulfilled life.
In ancient Egyptian funeral
custom it was believed that in order to gain entry to the afterlife,
the recently deceased would have to enter the Hall of Two Truths
to be judged by Anubis, Osiris and the Goddess Maat.
First,
all the deeds carried out in their lifetime would be judged - lying,
stealing, acts of charity and so on were tallied up. If the deceased
was judged to be "of true voice" they proceeded to the
next stage of the judgement - the Weighing of the Heart.
The deceased's heart (the
only organ left in the embalmed body) was placed on one side of
a set of scales. On the other side was the "feather of truth".
If the heart weighed as light
as the feather, the person was judged "pure" and could
proceed to the afterlife. If not, the heart would be devoured by
a monster and there would be no afterlife.
Even though most of us are
less concerned with our prospects for the afterlife than the Egyptians,
we still use the metaphor of "heart weight" in everyday
speech to describe our emotional state
In modern times, a Light Heart
is still a good measure of our overall wellbeing - encompassing
our mental health, our stress levels, the quality of our relationships
and the degree to which we have processed the past and put it behind
us.
What the Egyptians recognised
and built into their religion, was the knowledge that simply obeying
the law and not doing anything wrong isn't the whole story when
it comes to evaluating whether a life has been well lived - there
are Two Truths to be satisfied.
Doing the right thing does
no good at all in determining how good you feel about yourself and
your life in general. Carrying around resentment, anger, guilt or
hatred, weighs you down emotionally and prevents full participation
in this life. Try as you might to keep these feelings hidden from
others, the Egyptian myth symbolises that there is still a reckoning
and a price to be paid for carrying a Heavy Heart.
It is the Heavy Heart that
broods over the past or worries about the future, failing to notice
what is really happening in the present. It is the Heavy Heart that
finds it hard to find the emotional energy to try new things, make
changes or allow other people into our lives. It is the "lighthearted"
person who finds pleasure and enjoyment in the simple things and
finds it easiest to deal with lifes ups and downs, be trusting of
others and maintain a positive frame of mind.
So how does all this relate
to Coaching and EFT? Achieving self-alignment - living in integrity
with your values and life purpose - might be said to be like becoming
"of true voice". While using EFT regularly is a way to
make the heart lighter by removing the negative burden of a lifetime
of accumulated hurt, guilt and sadness.
We may no longer believe in
afterlives or judgement by the gods, but we still have a choice
to make in this life. To cultivate a Light Heart and remain open
to life. Or to be weighed down by a Heavy Heart and be devoured
by life itself.
(See Gary Craig's Personal
Peace Procedure below for information on how to use EFT to systematically
deal with accumulated negativity).
Being Who You Are in the
Heart of What You Are Not
The life of Robert Capa
Robert Capa was a war photographer in the
Spanish Civil War, World War 2 and Vietnam. He wore military uniforms
and took photographs in the thick of the battle, often risking his
own life. He was also a life-long pacifist who detested war and
totalitarianism.
Capa was a man who knew the difference
between image and essence - between the surface form and the underlying
truth - and knew how to use the difference to achieve what he wanted.
In fact, he understood the difference so well - he wasn't even
Robert Capa! His real name was Andrei Friedmann. When he set up
in business as a photographer he decided that newspaper editors
would be more likely to pay for photographs by a rich and "famous"
American than a poor unknown Hungarian, and so he invented Robert
Capa and sold photographs under Capa's name. Eventually the real
and the fictitious merged and Friedmann became the man he had invented.
What I find so inspiring about Capa is that he epitomised the
idea of Being Who You Really Are while living and working in the
Heart of What You Are Not.
It is often the experience of
What You Are Not - the crisis - which prompts people to begin coaching
or other self-development work. What begins as a desire to change
or deal with circumstances better (the job, the mortgage, the family,
the health issue, the relationship etc) becomes a journey to understand
and reconnect with What You Really Are. Without the crisis - without
the experience of What You Are Not - you may never really understand
Who You Are. Just as Capa's talent needed the very thing he detested
- war - to express Who He Was.
To me Capa is a hero. Not
only because he risked his life countless times in battle - many
milliions of men did that. But because when he did so, it was for
his own reasons, not somebody else's. He brought Who He Was - literally
- into the Heart of the very thing that defined Who He Was Not -
and in so doing helped to transform the way the world thought about
war.
"Big" personality
not so big after all
EFT in a coaching session
yields unexpected benefits
Recently I was coaching a
client through the dating process - and it became clear that she
had other things on her mind that were affecting her overall mood.
There were work issues and also an issue with a housemate. She felt
that the housemate had "a big personality" - which my
client found uncomfortable to be around. This meant she was finding
it uncomfortable to be at home and this was causing a significant
deal of background stress for her.
I suggested we do a few rounds
of EFT in order to lift her mood. I wasn't intending to delve deeply
into either the work or the home issue since these weren't the focus
of the coaching that day - but I did think it was important to get
my client in a good state of mind about the dating issues we were
discussing. I find EFT a great way to get a client
into a good positive state for coaching.
We did a round on her general
mood (which she rated at about a 6 or 7), two rounds on the tension
and issues at work and a round on how she felt about her housemate,
altering the setup as follows in order to make it clear that we
intended positive energy for both parties: "Even though <this
problem with the housemate>, I accept both of us".
By now her mood had improved,
but was still hovering around a 3 or 4. As we were running short
of time we finished up with a Choice round: "Even though I still
have some of this mood, I choose to feel more and more positive". A few days later she reported
back, saying:
"… one good thing is that I confided in my housemate (I bonded with her this weekend and feel less concerned about her "big" personality - it seems less of a problem now)"
Obviously I was delighted. She made no mention of the EFT we had done, but since the problem had been going on for some time, I can't help wondering what made her suddenly feel able to "confide" in her housemate that particular weekend…? Sometimes, as in this case, you can't really know or prove the effect that EFT has had, but somehow it seems to be more than just coincidence.
Gary's Corner
Gary Craig, the originator of EFT maintains an excellent website packed with real case histories. Each month I select one case history that really shows the power and range of EFT.
This month:
In this article by Gary he suggests a method for gradually and systematically working through a lifetime of accumulated negative thoughts and memories.
This method can be used very easily by the self-help user, provided they are familiar with the basic EFT procedure and are willing to be persistent.
It's also an effective basis for working with a practitioner or coach over time.
This procedure is especially useful for generalised anxiety or stress where it's hard to pin down the cause to just one or a few issues or events.
Learn EFT now! You can start using EFT for yourself right now by downloading my free EFT QuickStart manual.
